In a Mumsnet post shared under the handle Windleberry, the woman explained that her five brothers and sisters had refused to support her in providing care to their 88-year-old mother (who has advanced dementia) and 93-year-old father who struggles to walk.

However, many of those commenting on the forum post felt they were under “no obligation” to help and the unfortunate reality was that her parents would need more outside help.

There’s no denying that America’s working caregivers—individuals who provide care to loved ones while holding down a job—are being stretched increasingly thin.

According to Homethrive’s 2022 Employee Caregiving Survey, there has been a 151 percent increase in the number of employees spending nine or more work hours per week on caregiving, when compared with data for 2021.

There’s also been a 79 percent rise in the number of employees spending five or more work hours per week caregiving compared with last year.

The woman sharing her story to Mumsnet certainly appears to be spending an increasing amount of time caring for her elderly parents. While all of her siblings live some distance from their mom and dad, she said they ended up “living temporarily” near them during the pandemic.

“We popped in to them once or twice a week and, as their care needs grew, we got more involved in helping them over the next two years,” she wrote. Her siblings “rarely visited” and when they did they never offered any “practical” help with looking after them or managing daily tasks around the house.

In March of this year, they moved further away and decided to hire a carer to come in for an hour a day. However, her mom’s condition has declined rapidly since then and they now need two carers to help clean and dress her. “My father also now needs help with household things as he can no longer drive to the shops for food etc and often forgets to make meals for them both, yet will not allow the carers to prepare meals for them,” she said.

Now she organizes the delivery of ready-made meals, manages their finances and runs a rota to ensure all of her siblings provide some support. One again though, problems have arisen due to the fact the carers have taken some days off, leaving her and her siblings to pick up the slack.

But, things have come to a head this Christmas with the carers once again off for the holidays. “Nobody volunteered to cover for them, all kinds of excuses, so eventually my husband and I said we would cover Christmas Eve, Christmas day and Boxing day,” she wrote.

But those plans have been thrown into doubt after her husband’s elderly mom was hospitalized. No longer able to support her mom over the holidays, the woman turned to her siblings to see if one of them could step forward in their place.

“Not one of my siblings has offered to step in to help our parents,” she wrote. “I am angry and resentful that not one of them has stepped forward to help their parents, parents that have helped them enormously over the years.”

But while she remained indignant over their actions, many on social media sympathized with the siblings. YellowTreeHouse commented: “They are not obliged to help care for their parents just because they gave birth to them.”

Reindeersnooker agreed, writing: “Your siblings are under no obligation to keep the show on the road and neither are you. This is no longer working and it may be time to look at residential care.”

Elsewhere fishonabike said: “Why is a care home not an option? It’s obviously at a stage where that is necessary.”

One leading professional felt there was an alternative solution though.

Yelena Sokolsky, CEO, Galaxy Home Care, a home care agency based in New York City told Newsweek: “In my opinion, there are many ways to care for a parent. Installing a reputable In-Home Care agency will not only reduce friction with other siblings but will also improve the well-being of her parents.

She added: “The other siblings will also feel that they are also contributing to the care. Moving parents to a “home” a.k.a. facility, will not provide one-on-one care that’s needed because those facilities cannot possibly provide the needed care and quality of life for all family members.”

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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